Follow by Email

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

GBE #2 - week 22 - Safe haven

*** My thanks go out to Brenda, Joyce and Beth because in reading their posts on this topic, they invited this one!!

When I was a little girl, I lived in a closet for months and no one seemed to mind.  I was the 5th of 6 children, so space of my own was hard to come by.  I shared a room with my sister, Nancy, on the 3rd floor of our house that had a large closet built into the eaves.  It was large enough to hold my twin bed and I could sleep looking out.

I’m not sure if I wanted to live in there because it it was my own place, or if it is my nature to seek time alone. I was born in June, a Cancer - sign of the crab.  The crab retreats inside itself when threatened, and will only come out when it is ready. I embody this trait.  Being alone though, I never feel lonely as I can entertain myself quite well with books, music, and my own imagination.  I have created a safe haven inside myself, which I believe we all need to do to get through our days whole.  
This is not to say that I don’t share that inner world with my family, my friends, my man.  I do, but I have more of myself to share when I can pull back within and feel right with the world when I have need.  It has taught me to hear my inner voice, to open to all my senses, and to form my beliefs about this life I am in.  
That time to just be who you are is something that I tried to give to my children.  My two girls, grown now, are very creative, and my proudest moments as a parent have been watching them march to the beat of their own drum.  My 8-year-old son shows me that need for his own space too - he begs me for boxes to build his own Iron Man suit, a time machine, a laboratory, and most recently, a dinosaur costume.  We currently have a T. Rex domicile in the playroom.  He loves his time alone to grow and explore his reach, but he often invites me along to the late Cretaceous, and I am glad to go there with him. 


  1. I loved this! I'm always a bit surprised by people who dislike being alone. I wouldn't want to spend all of my time by myself, but I do need a certain amount of time that's just mine. Like you said, that time is not lonely, just reflective and it provides space to stay connected to the voice within.

  2. HEY! You told me I inspired you and I wanted to be your muse! Crap! Well, maybe another time. he he he
    Anyway, this is wonderful and I totally share the idea of the place of your own to retreat.
    I find it, along with writing, to be my best source of mental health, such as it is!

  3. I love that you find your self in solace. I find mine in public as a total extrovert. My daugher is like you and can have a great time being alone doing most anything.

  4. @Beth and @Laura - The funny thing about me loving being alone, is that I am also a complete extrovert. Comes from being shy as a child - no one I know now would ever believe that I didn't always relish being around people. I used to hide behind my mother all the time when I was younger.

    Oh Jo - you did inspire me, and idiot that I am I left your name out of the shout outs.... could have been the menopause brain, as it forgets a lot of those things. You inspired the whole 'crab' part of this writing. You ARE my muse, and there will be editing. :D '

    Thanks for visiting!

  5. Your closet room is exactly something I would have loved when I was a child. There was a space under our stairs used as a closet when I was small. I loved going in there just to hide or take a nap.

    I really enjoyed your blog.

  6. Being one of six, I'm not surprised that you sought out a place of your own. There is something instinctual about feeling safe in these sorts of places. Ie., how many dogs like to sleep under a table or desk? ;)

    Thanks for the shout out.


  7. @Darlene - it was rather womb-like now that I've given it more thought. My own space. My sisters thought I was crazy.

  8. Great post. I'm pretty outgoing--but I also need a bit of time to myself--to relax--to regroup--to gain fresh perspective on things.

    Your room sounds amazing. I would have loved that space as a child!

    Cheers, Jenn.

  9. Nice! In our previous home, my only daughter of six kids, had a large walk in closet. She would play in there for hours...polly pockets, barbies. It was her little safe haven, her little world. I too, have a private place within myself that is my safe haven. I treasure that private part of myself. :)

  10. Yeah, I had all kinds of safe havens like that as a child. My favorite was a half-built tree house my dad began and never finished. I would have loved your space.

  11. LOVED LOVED LOVED so so thankful have some TIME TO MYSELF to read this...hehe relate to the crab statements too! LOVE being here..right now with all of your cherish them..hence guess why i love writing; photography and painting; why the hell am i taking golf lessons? ((hugs))

  12. It is so cool that even within such a large family you could find a space to call your own! Wonderful blog!