Five weeks ago my world turned upside down with the news that the man I love needs some fairly serious surgery. Since then my mind has been rushing about, running down avenues I would rather not visit, or creating checklists of things I need to do or say or think about. Even in sleep I don't think my head gets any rest. Each new specialist and test paints a more frightening scenario, a larger sense of urgency, and decisions must be made soon.
I remind myself to not live in fear of what tomorrow can bring but instead to take in these moments and appreciate each one for what it is. I have been truly blessed in my journey through this world and he is part of each day's gratitude. These hurdles are both difficult and challenging but there is no choice but keep moving through each of them.
I must confess that sometimes, inside me, there is the little girl curled into a ball with her hands over her ears, eyes closed, screaming that she is not ready and she cannot handle this. Until I do. Life continues on and dinner still needs to be cooked, the laundry needs to be folded, and the boy still needs help with his homework. I can't stop long enough to be overwhelmed. I have to choose to be weak or be strong and if you know me at all, there really isn't any question about which path I'll take. I will do what needs to be done.
Sitting on the couch tonight, our kitten crawled onto my chest and collapsed her purring, cuddly self there. One of our other cats immediately followed suit. They knew I needed the comfort they could bring. In those few moments, I got clear on a few important lessons.
I am loved unconditionally.
The Universe has given me abundant gifts to cherish.
Laughter lightens your heart.
Comfort comes in many forms.
Each moment is precious and not to be wasted.
I challenge you to find clarity in your life and share your wisdom with the people who are most important to you, and with me here.